I was incensed today when I began following the news coverage on Major Hasan's gunning down of 13 fellow soldiers and wounding 30 people. News media are making me crazy with their talk about post traumatic stress as a cause for this shooting. Hasan has not been deployed. He's not a victim of trauma who has been behind enemy lines, fought in a combat zone or been to war. Please, leave the psychiatry to those of us who are professional and stop looking for excuses to avoid the obvious.

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Ok I've had enough of the Rush Limbaugh can't own an NFL team because of inappropriate comments he made a few years ago for which he has apologized. Is it really about those comments? Come on. The public is not a bunch of idiots who can't see this hypocrisy. So Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez can be part owners of the Dolphins even though Marc married Jennifer four days after his divorce, Jennifer co-habitated with Ben Affleck before her third marriage to Anthony. The Williams sisters are also part owners, never mind that Serena Williams lost her match at the US Open after threatening the line referee while liberally using the F word to berate her. And then there is Fergie who is having no problem with her bid to join the star studded cast of owners. Oh yes, it doesn't seem to matter that she too uses the F word liberally and dresses like a porn star. Don't get me wrong both Fergie and Serena are incredible talents at what they do, but so is Rush Limbaugh. Whether you agree with his politics or not, he is just as "qualified" as these other owners. Apparently the media targets the people they like and gives them a pass. Those who politics don't align with theirs are bait for their shark attacks. The hypocrisy is sickening. 

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So much of the advice in PRESS PAUSE BEFORE YOU EAT is hitting home that I will be recording weekly podcasts to help you stay encouraged and apply the PRESS PAUSE principle to your eating habits. Yes, it is possible to develop a positive relationship with food--one in which food is not the enemy, is not something that controls you and doesn't create guilt. Check my website for when these podcasts will begin. Send them to a friend. Let's all work on enjoying food, maintaining a healthy weight and getting on with our lives. 

Press Pause #2B

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If I hear one more celebrity excusing the behavior of Roman Polansky, I'm going to personal hold group therapy sessions with Hollywood. Roman Polansky, at the age of 44--note he was not 20 or a confused teenager but a 44 years old man--drugged a 13 year old child with Quaaludes, gave her  champagne and then raped her. This involves the illegal use of drugs and alcohol to a minor which no one is talking about and the rape of a young girl. The fact that Sharon Tate's sister (the sister of Roman's wife who was murdered by Manson's crazed group) is saying that the sex was consensual is unconscionable. She should be scorned off the TV set of any thinking television host. Shame on them for allowing this woman to make such harmful statements with no consequences. Once again, Hollywood shows how out of touch it is with the moral fabric of America. Had this been a 40 year old low income African American male who did this to a 13 year old, he would be in jail with no public sympathy. But Hollywood feels they rewrite the rules because they are so "special".  

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Press Pause #2B

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I'm not going to give out the website that provides the nonsense I am about to discuss but you should know how crazy our culture is getting to be when it comes to feeding momentary individual happiness. 

When I read this story in a popular magazine, I thought it was a joke-- a website dedicated to helping married couples cheat. Yes, cheat! And here is the kicker. The end goal is to help save marriages by making cheating discrete. Sadly, this is not a joke.

Here is their tag line. "Life is short. Have an affair." What they provide is a way for a spouse to cheat discretely. They believe this strategy helps strengthen marriages. Their mental status  according to Dr. Linda--psychotic, completely out of touch with reality.

Affairs do not help marriages or families. They are damaging and a breaking of the marital covenant. Marriage is not about your momentary happiness. It is about an unbreakable promise come good or bad, ease or difficulty. Never have I seen an affair help a marriage get better. And I've been doing marriage therapy for 30 years. Can a couple strengthen their relationship after an affair. Yes, but the scars remain and the damage is done. Affairs are never a solution to an ailing marriage. This "service" is nothing more than an excuse to make money off of people who need real help examining their intimacy issues and getting at the cause of their discontent. Instead, the service feeds the problem and adds insult to injury. 

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Here’s what people in therapy tell me when I ask about a moment of anger. “I didn’t think anything. I just felt angry.” And I say, “Yes you did think something. You just weren’t aware of it. And thinking influences feeling. Anger is an intense emotion that leads people to yell, curse and say things they often regret. Behind that red-hot feeling is a “thinking” you who contributes to your emotional state.

Usually your thoughts go like this, “I’ll never…He’ll always…How dare she…My life is over…How could he…I can’t believe… I ought to…No one treats me like…The nerve of… Can you believe… He’d better… I won’t take…Angry thoughts often come when we demand things from people, e.g., he’d better not treat me this way. Well guess what? He just did. Thinking you didn’t deserve what happened doesn’t help you feel better.

We all get upset when things don’t go our way or people treat us poorly but thinking negative thoughts just gets us more wound up. Instead of demanding people behave “the right way,” try changing your thoughts. Say, “I wish I could control people but I can’t.  I’m not going to let this get to me. It’s not the end of the world. It’s frustrating but I can handle it.” Acknowledge your disappointment but don’t rev yourself up with negative thoughts of revenge, injustice, hopelessness and drama.

Anger

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It’s that time of year again. Daylight is shorter. The air is brisk and people with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) know it’s time to get more light! Winter depression, know as the “winter blues” or SAD, gets activated by decreasing daylight. It usually begins mid October and ends around April.

SAD is a treatable depression that affects about 35 million Americans. The farther north you live, the greater your chance to be one of the 10 million people diagnosed, or one of 25 million that have some symptoms. People in the northern states get half as much sunshine as those in the South.

Symptoms can include tiredness, irritability, inability to concentrate, weight gain, craving carbohydrates, isolation, and difficulty getting out of bed in the morning. Women in their 30s are most susceptible but the disorder affects men and children too.

Treatment is relatively easy. Because light therapy regulates brain chemistry, you need to get more light. Light interacts with the eye through the optic nerve and increases brain chemicals that alleviate depression.

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COMING MAY 26, 2009

Press Pause #2B .jpg

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Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Like most of you, I waited in line to vote this morning for 2 hours and 15 minutes. I actually got to know more of my neighbors and it was exciting to see the voter turn out. Now, I wished they had more than 3 women checking us in! This is what created the lines--poor planning for the crowds anticipated. But people were upbeat and friendly and we all felt a part of history for the moment. Whatever the results, we'll see the first African American President or first female Vice President! Pretty amazing wither way. My encouragement to you today. If your candidate loses, don't allow depression or anger to over take you. God is still in control and pray for our country is drastically needed. Keep the faith--not in government, but in God! Dr. Linda

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