I was bored, on the elliptical and forgot my ear buds so I picked up a copy of a celebrity magazine and began to read. Here's what I found in article after article--praise given to celebrities for taking moments out of their busy lives to actually parent their children. Never mind that marriage seems to be optional to have children in Hollywood. I found these stories almost laughable but quite sad. One major star actually helped his daughter learn to walk! Another takes her to the park once in awhile. Still another dresses her up for a shopping trip with mom. Really? This is news? But it was the tone of the articles that disturbed me. It was as if these people were doing their children some huge favor by spending time with them or helping them grow. I'm sorry, isn't that what parenting is all about? Yet the way these magazines portray celebrity parenting is like children are an accessory to their lives. To be fair, this may not represent how celebrities feel about their children. And celebrities are probably as incensed as I am in terms of the way their parenting is portrayed. The question is, "What message does this send to the larger public about parenting and fame?" And why would any magazine want to reduce children to accessory status?
Well it is the latest craze in the fad diet world. Now we have the cookie diet. Basically you eat prepackaged cookies that are supposed to be made with ultra healthy ingredients. You do this for breakfast and lunch and then eat dinner--lean protein and vegetables. Will you lose weight? Probably because the diet is based on 800-1200 calories a day. At that calorie count most of us will lose weight. But there are concerns. At such low calories, your body is thinking starvation and will hold on to the fat by slowing down your metabolism. Second, are cookies really a nutrition rich diet? OK you don't have to be a RD to know the answer to that question. Third, how is this teaching you how to eat for the rest of your life? We know from studies that when you lose weight on a fad diet and then go back to eating sensibly, most people gain the weight back. Any "diet" should be able to be sustained as a lifestyle. And that's just the way the cookie crumbles!
I went on national TV the other day to discuss the failures of Tiger Woods. One of the questions was, "How do we talk to our children about this? They idolized Tiger?" Good question. The answer, however, must address a bigger problem--the worship we have of celebrities and sports figures in our country. It's out of balance and unhealthy. Celebrities are usually pampered people who live charmed lives. They have people who handle them, expect special treatment and can do whatever they want. Their behavior can be rude, self-centered and self-serving. Are these really the people we want our children to emulate? The Tiger Woods admission of failure provides parents an opportunity to discuss real heroes and values with our children. What is important? Getting another expensive car or helping the poor? Take this time to identify the real heroes in our culture that give of themselves, selflessly lead others and sacrifice for the good of others (how about the foot soldier doing his job overseas?). In terms of Tiger, he stands for many admirable qualities when it comes to his commitment to golf. But he is human and has faults like the rest of us so better to admire the qualities and character of a person than put that person on a pedestal. Perhaps this is the lesson for children. There are always strengths and weaknesses in a person. Admire their strengths but don't make them idols in your life.
Like many of you who first heard the news report of Wood's accident, I thought the facts didn't make much sense. I was a bit curious and thought something more than was reported was going on. But I hoped Tiger would deal with whatever it was apart from the media circus that typically ensues. I was wrong. The media feed off personal failings. Why? So we can excuse our own short-comings or can feel better that people with money have problems too? Both of these possibilities are examples of how dysfunctional our idolatry of celebrities has become. But what really gets me is how media chase after the celebrities who at least try to live decent lives. The ones who have no morals seem to get a pass. Do we really think Tiger's fame and money exempt him from problems? In fact, celebrity brings problems of privacy that make working through his issues even more difficult. And the public spectacle of speculation and digging for dirt will not only hurt his family but once again disappoint a bunch of kids who really don't need to hear all these rumors and sordid details. Whatever his problems, get a therapist and work it out. I'm tired of the media pronouncing guilty or not guilty and pouncing on people when they sin or make mistakes. But the Pharisees keep throwing the stones and innocent people like kids and families are hurt. Personally, I'd like to put down my stone and instead, give the man a little privacy and grace.
The madness continues as our President commented that the shooting was a result of someone cracking under pressure. With all respect Mr President, you are a lawyer and you were the head of the Harvard Law Review. Will you continue to ignore mounting evidence that suggests this shooting was prompted by religious difference and an ideology that supports taking lives for radical religious causes. When the partial birth abortion doctor was killed, you called it a haneus act and didn't hesitate to condemn such thinking. That was the right thing to do. On the day of serial shooter Mohammed's scheduled death, are we still saying his actions were not influenced by his radical religious ideology. When will we realize that tyranny doesn't always require a Berlin Wall but can come from within our borders because religious differences allow people to take the lives of others, we should speak up against such action. Why not condemn any radical religious arm that promotes death and call it what it is. This is not an inditement to the entire Muslim world but to the radicals who feel they can kill Americans because they believe it it not only right but will be rewarded. Evidence seems to be mounting that Hasan believed such ideology.
I was incensed today when I began following the news coverage on Major Hasan's gunning down of 13 fellow soldiers and wounding 30 people. News media are making me crazy with their talk about post traumatic stress as a cause for this shooting. Hasan has not been deployed. He's not a victim of trauma who has been behind enemy lines, fought in a combat zone or been to war. Please, leave the psychiatry to those of us who are professional and stop looking for excuses to avoid the obvious.
Ok I've had enough of the Rush Limbaugh can't own an NFL team because of inappropriate comments he made a few years ago for which he has apologized. Is it really about those comments? Come on. The public is not a bunch of idiots who can't see this hypocrisy. So Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez can be part owners of the Dolphins even though Marc married Jennifer four days after his divorce, Jennifer co-habitated with Ben Affleck before her third marriage to Anthony. The Williams sisters are also part owners, never mind that Serena Williams lost her match at the US Open after threatening the line referee while liberally using the F word to berate her. And then there is Fergie who is having no problem with her bid to join the star studded cast of owners. Oh yes, it doesn't seem to matter that she too uses the F word liberally and dresses like a porn star. Don't get me wrong both Fergie and Serena are incredible talents at what they do, but so is Rush Limbaugh. Whether you agree with his politics or not, he is just as "qualified" as these other owners. Apparently the media targets the people they like and gives them a pass. Those who politics don't align with theirs are bait for their shark attacks. The hypocrisy is sickening.
So much of the advice in PRESS PAUSE BEFORE YOU EAT is hitting home that I will be recording weekly podcasts to help you stay encouraged and apply the PRESS PAUSE principle to your eating habits. Yes, it is possible to develop a positive relationship with food--one in which food is not the enemy, is not something that controls you and doesn't create guilt. Check my website for when these podcasts will begin. Send them to a friend. Let's all work on enjoying food, maintaining a healthy weight and getting on with our lives.
If I hear one more celebrity excusing the behavior of Roman Polansky, I'm going to personal hold group therapy sessions with Hollywood. Roman Polansky, at the age of 44--note he was not 20 or a confused teenager but a 44 years old man--drugged a 13 year old child with Quaaludes, gave her champagne and then raped her. This involves the illegal use of drugs and alcohol to a minor which no one is talking about and the rape of a young girl. The fact that Sharon Tate's sister (the sister of Roman's wife who was murdered by Manson's crazed group) is saying that the sex was consensual is unconscionable. She should be scorned off the TV set of any thinking television host. Shame on them for allowing this woman to make such harmful statements with no consequences. Once again, Hollywood shows how out of touch it is with the moral fabric of America. Had this been a 40 year old low income African American male who did this to a 13 year old, he would be in jail with no public sympathy. But Hollywood feels they rewrite the rules because they are so "special".
